how i got here

for those of you to whom i am unknown, or don't know how i got here, a little background.

i began sitting with noah levine (check the link to my sangha for more information on him) four years ago after seeing his tattooed hands in national geographic. i showed my father and exclaimed, "here was someone i could practice with!" at this point, i was very unsatisfied with my 11th step practice (that's aa lingo for the step having to do with prayer and meditation. i'm 11 years sober today), as meditation is not explained in detail in any aa literature. the most i seemed to be able to manage was two minutes of sitting still in the mornings, and that was a stretch at best.

when i returned to los angeles from visiting my dad in canada, one of my good friends asked if i wanted to come check out noah's class. turns out that noah had just moved to the angels and was teaching a weekly class. fate? kismet? karma? probably not, but who am i to pass up the opportunities of the marvelous universe? i felt instantly at home amongst this unique community of tattooed misfits and iconoclasts and have been sitting with the sangha (that's the buddha-speak for "community") regularly ever since.

as part of the dharma punx sangha (we're now called "against the stream," same difference), i've completed two silent retreats, one for five days and one for 10 days, at spirit rock meditation center, which is jack kornfield's place up in marin county. as part of my practice, i intend to complete at least one silent retreat per year. the buddha did three months a year, but he didn't have a job.

i've also completed two year-long practices with noah; a year-to-live, and a year-long compassion practice. the year-to-live practice was created by noah's father, stephen levine. you act as if the coming year is your last year to live. trust me, this is not as interesting at parties as it might seem. the compassion practice was a fluke, as i wanted to be in the year-long insight group but had a conflict in my schedule. noah said that everyone could use a little compassion, and that dalai lama fellow seems keen on it, so i thought, what the hell? ripping one's heart open to the world is an experience. i cry a lot more that i used to, but jack kornfield says that the practice only begins when one cries on the cushion. yeah, he probably didn't have to cry in front of a class full of black-t-shirt-wearing, tattooed, hollywood hipster types. people say i'm nicer to hang out with now, but that might just be the result of my mindfulness practice--i don't have to speak everything that comes into my head.

i even have my own meditation cushion. and people keep giving me buddhas. dust needs to live somewhere, i guess. even non-attachement comes with accouterment.

when i returned from my first retreat, i must have seemed spiritual or something, as my work asked if i would teach the meditation group there. i'm the educational director for an adolescent outpatient rehab facility, and they were unsatisfied with their meditation teacher. i didn't feel confident in my abilities at that time, but noah had just asked if i would be willing to help him teach at a california youth authority camp, so i agreed to teach the weekly group at my facility after i completed my training. i've been teaching at my facility for two years now. the kids say it's their favorite group, but i think they say that because it's only two hours instead of the usual three. yes, i keep teenagers occupied with meditation and spiritual discussion for two hours weekly and have lived to tell the tale! on occasion, my dad even comes and teaches a class when he's in town.

i recently was asked by joanna harper, the youth meditation teacher of against the stream, to co-facilitate her first overnight teen "retreat," which further cemented my desire to work with teens outside of my weekly group. i hope to work with her again in the future, although next time i don't think i'll be the tough guy and sleep on the floor like the kids.

so when noah asked if i would be participating in the year-long facilitator training, besides being honored that he would think of me, it seemed natural for me to enroll in the course. i sincerely hope that any teachings i receive will benefit the teens that i work with each week, planting the future seeds of the spiritual path in their lives. and i certainly hope that i can develop my understanding of the dharma (truth with a lower case t) for the benefit of all beings, everywhere.